The Secret Sauce of Community

"We've all got a gift to give…"

Every summer, I listen to campers and staff sing "Kehillah K'doshahk'hilah k’doshahholy community " and think about what the secret sauce of community is. Is it the place where a community gathers? Is it the individuals who gather? Or is it what they do when gathered? Does everyone need to give of themselves for the community to succeed?

In Exodus, chapters 25 - 27, Moses gives the Israelites instructions for bringing gifts he will accept on God's behalf. The phrasing of God's command is often commented on, as it reads: "Tell the Israelite people to bring Me gifts; you shall accept gifts for me from every person whose heart is so moved." The gifts range from skins, to oils, to many other materials for creating a beautiful space for God.

God goes on to give detailed instructions for this sanctuary, the Tabernacle, which will be a tent of meeting that the Israelites will use while they wander towards the Promised Land. The tabernacle and all its furnishings sound exquisite. Gold, beautiful stones, richly colored threads and materials…the actual gifts that each person is expected to bring sound important. The quality of the gifts and how they will eventually serve the community is meaningful. Every person must bring something, but they also should be from "every person whose heart is so moved." Together, the Israelites will create a gathering space to worship God.

So, does one of these things hold the secret sauce to successful community? Or do we need all of them together to create the best kind of kehillah k'doshah? Which parts of this combination are most important?

When Camp Newman burned down in the Tubbs Fire of 2017, we said continually that camp is about the people, not the buildings, and this felt true. The community was not lost simply because we lost our buildings. We are our people, our shared values, and our joyful Jewish celebration. Was it sad to lose the beautiful art from decades of campers and staff? Absolutely. Were we all disappointed that we could not gather in the beautiful spaces where we had already built so many memories? Yes. And yet, as the days went by, we reveled in the beauty of our community's commitment to our continuation and strength.

We began to also recognize that the spaces where we gather do matter to some extent. Sitting in a space that is too cold makes it difficult to focus on Torah study. Sitting in chairs that are uncomfortable or sleeping on lumpy mattresses make for a considerably less enjoyable immersive experience. We had a unique opportunity to make our spaces not only more thoughtful, comfortable, and tailored to what we do; we were also able to make them more accessible to folks in so many ways.

If the secret sauce of community is not solely the space or the people, perhaps the purpose or content of the gathering is the main ingredient. Priya Parker's book, "The Art of Gathering," posits that the content and program of a gathering is of utmost importance. Parker talks about how folks often invite people to an event without an actual program. Most of us can recall an event that had no structure, whether it be a dinner party or an open house. The open house may be lovely to just sit and chat with folks, but without formal structure, there's less of a chance that the gathering will foster transformational moments. Parker's book boils down community to three main components: purpose, intention, and people. She believes that the right people need to be invited, they need to know and are prepared for the purpose of the gathering, and the content of the gathering needs to be intentional to ensure a successful event.

Another focus of Parker's is what she calls "The Chateau Principle." She teaches that we must always be thinking about the venue of a gathering, because "venues come with scripts." When we sit in a movie theater, we expect a specific kind of experience. God may have been trying to help Moses and the Israelites create a very specific type of venue with the Tabernacle. I can imagine what the inside of the Tabernacle felt like; the materials the Israelites were instructed to bring offer visions of grandeur, richness, holiness, and sanctity. The Tabernacle is not the town "water cooler," folks did not congregate there to chat about the previous night's dinner. They gathered there to take part in holy rituals and praise God.

Like Priya Parker's teachings, God is instructing Moses to create the perfect space and gatherings. Perhaps the secret of community requires that all these ingredients come together to create a rich and vibrant sauce. You need the right people (the Israelites), the right place (the Tabernacle), and a set of expectations of what will happen inside the venue.

This is what our communities do when we get it beautifully right. We thoughtfully construct a purpose, find the right people to join, pick the right venue, and prepare everyone before and during the event. All these components must work in tandem. When we do this, we can continue creating the venues, events, gatherings, and groups that embody the holy secret sauce of community.